How am I feeling today? You want the truth? I’m feeling pretty darn weird, if I do say so myself! (No Jay-Z voice needed!)
I’m usually bubbly…perky as my boobs…and energetic as EVER! I laugh much and turn up to EVERY tune on my Pandora no matter if their algorithms get it right today or not. February 7, 2015…(sigh)…February 7, 2015, was quite the contrary, however. I felt content, happy inside, but with a dash of solemn. Naturally, I immediately called my mother!!! Panic-stricken, I told her my concerns…I spilled the beans…informed her of my current state and waited patiently for a response. What did I say? What did I tell her exactly? It was something along the lines of, “Ma! I feel so content…this is weird…I feel like I’m okay with everything in my life…I don’t want anything more nor less…I told someone ‘NO’ today and felt GREAT about it…I feel as though my mind is made up for the time being. I don’t want this and I don’t want that and NO ONE will make me think otherwise…IS THIS NORMAL???? Am I okay?? Can you pray for me????” Yeah, I was doing the most! What did my mom do though?…What was HER response? Well…
She laughed in my face…(err, my ear).
But yeah…you catch my drift…she laughed…she LAUGHED at my PAIN!!!!!!!!!!! And YES, you can cue Kev’s voice here! 😉
After she tired from her excessive chuckles, she eventually realized that I was serious as a freaking heart attack! With all my heart, I wanted to know why I was feeling this way. Why was I so somber? Why so mellow? What was this really about? – To which she replied, “Oh, Jaz! CALM DOWN! You’re just taking control of your life!”
Me, Jazmine, THEE Shimmy Sistah, was ‘taking control of her life’? Who would’ve thunk it? Time to bust a move to “I’m a Big Kid Now!” LOL! 😀 WOW…what a feeling…those words were so profound…I didn’t know how to react.
She continued to elaborate and state that I was finally becoming cognizant of the fact that I am not only capable of making my own decisions, but also making the ones that are best for ME. She explained how this feeling usually comes either after frustration or from growing up (mine was the latter). Feeling slightly awkward about this new-found glory is natural she told me, but she advised that I discontinue those feelings with haste. Why? Because it is a MUST that I embrace this newness, flaunt it, and wear it boldly. She stressed that if I didn’t, I could possibly falter back to my compliant state. The state in which I used to go along with the program…do things I really didn’t feel like doing…making excuses when I really wanted to say no…
I refuse to let this happen.
Therefore, I will embrace the new me and remain bubbly all the while.
I encourage my Shimmies to do the same.
*** My mother I adore. She can do no wrong and if you told me she did, I wouldn’t believe you. The words she spoke over me today will resonate forever. Jeez, I’m grateful to have that pretty lady! 🙂 Has your mother or a special someone in your life spoken something similar during your time of haze? If you are finally coming into your own, realizing your potential, saying no, and loving it, leave your stories below. And if you’re having a difficult time doing any of the above, post that as well. Shimmies don’t just dance, we are pillars through and through. We are women. Hear us ROAR. ***
Remember to Live Life, Beautifully <3
– Shimmy Sistah